Life

It's been a bit since I've gone on and I just wanted to talk about my passion and what drives me. Last summer I came into contact with a great philosophy by the name of Osho. A modern Buddhist thinker, Osho really changed the way I view the world. Since the summer, I've slowly made a conscious effort to change myself; I wanted to move away from the somewhat destructive self that I was last year. I mean, all in all my self last year was carefree and pretty much worked when it wanted and did whatever it wanted.

Lately I've been finding myself amidst the path that I've carved in the past year. I've been trying to take to heart what Osho has said, especially:

"Friendship is the purest love. It is the highest form of Love where nothing is asked for, no condition, where one simply enjoys giving."

While many would disagree, I think that this is the best way for me to go right now. It's something I look forward to.

On friendship:

I have a reputation of being friendly with quite a large number of people. I think that this is incorrect. While harsh, there is a very small handful of people here that I would consider myself "being friendly" with. While I agree that I do know a lot of people, there are very few people I know who are "friends." Those who accept me for who I am and expect nothing but my companionship when they need it. I hope that they realize that I am a very solitary person and it is rare that I feel comfortable hanging out with a large group of people.

I think that has been my fault in the past year. Stepping outside my comfort zone has allowed to meet many people, but I have deprived myself of who I really am. There was only a fleeting moment in college where I was truly content with myself, but I find that there is no need to be content because it causes you to stop yourself, stop time. While one part of me desires this "contentness," there are some things that are greater than that and I am finding them.

On Thinking:

In the past month, I made a couple of choices that will probably affect who I am a year from now. Now it is only up to me to realize my wishes. This involves a severe degree of self control and thought, both of which I have been lacking in previous years. It's like recreating myself. Maybe by finding the self, I can reach out even further.

I wonder what will happen.