Cloudy Thoughts

Invisible Children

Blades of Grass.

Single Yellow Grass hidden invisible in a field of green life.

Staring at the ocean of green that enveloped this world would do nothing to satisfy your knowledge of this place. Like a child trying to understand how a movie is created by just looking at the trailer, only the surface of this body of life would be evident in your gaze. I am a shadow that hides behind the shifting waves of green, controlled only by the whim of the sifting air. A hidden yellow stain that is the only evidence of those left behind.

When I was pure and just emerging into life, I was full of expectant hope and wonder at all that surrounded me. I carried myself freely in the wind, drifting in the sea of vibrant green, not noticing anything but embracing everything. My only thoughts were to go vibrant and green like those that surrounded me.

That really was the only chance for me to grow.

I lost it when I lost everything and was stolen away. By the whim of a greater life than me, I was pulled from the earth and cast into a sea of enemies. From the warm embrace of my fellows I entered the cold shackles of those I did not know, and as the shackles turned to warmth, I was stained by their deceptive embrace. When lightning came and cried in fear and to avoid death I was tainted there. I swallowed my pride and with it came fear, fear of the unknown, the new, it all scared.

Patches of hope remained in me, like little lights scattered from the sun that used to reach me. Now all there really is are these dwindling spots that run dry like blood, yet staining my skin only yellow...and now I am quiet, a still thought waiting for nothing. For the me I was is gone and beyond my shattered home lies only me ruled by anger and fear.

So for the anything that is left in me from what I was, let it wait until someone comes, for that is the only thing that will set me free from these shackles that chain and bind me to my masters, like those clouds trapped in the sky today, for they are freed only for a time whenever who they are falls, smacking hard as it hits the ground.

Bush had the Capacity to be Greater than Obama

To President George W. Bush, From Barack, With Apologies

By LARRY ELDER Posted 03/31/2011 05:39 PM ET

The Gulf oil spill opened my eyes.

As with Hurricane Katrina, it happened suddenly. I barked out orders. I pounded my desk. But the oil kept flowing. Worse, the nation watched it all on television and said: "Why doesn't the president do something? Doesn't he care?"

From then on, I fully understood both the expectations and the limitations of this job.

I ran on "hope and change." I said I would bring the sides together. The American people, I told Republicans who opposed my stimulus plan, have spoken. And "I won."

So without any of the bipartisan support you received for your tax cuts, my stimulus passed, and I confidently predicted it would prevent unemployment from reaching 8%. It climbed to 10.2%.

Without a single Republican vote, we passed "ObamaCare." But half of the states' attorneys general filed suit to stop it. And a year after its passage, most Americans want it repealed.

My party lost its House majority and its Senate supermajority. Voters wanted smaller government. Turns out voters wanted to retain the "Bush tax rates" — even for the rich — which I campaigned against. Again, the American people had spoken.

The morning starts, as you know, with an intelligence briefing. My goodness, does America have enemies — hateful, violent, vicious enemies all over the world who are determined to destroy this nation! Our job is to prevent them from succeeding — all of them, all of the time.

He Gets Gitmo

I labeled you a cowboy, promised humility and offered enemy countries an "outstretched hand" for their "unclenched fist." But calling the Global War on Terror an "overseas contingency operation" not only failed to deter the Islamofascists from wanting to kill us, it suggested a weakness that only strengthened their resolve.

Al-Qaida, Hezbollah, Hamas and the mullahs who run Iran, I learned, couldn't care less that I'm a person of color, born to a Muslim father from Kenya, and who lived in Indonesia. They hate us still.

Guantanamo Bay exists for a reason. It imprisons the worst of the worst. No other country will take these terrorists, and many former detainees have returned to the fight.

Gitmo is among many of your "Bush era" terror-fighting policies that I not only retained but, in some cases, even expanded. What once seemed reckless and wrongheaded, I now see as prudent attempts to strike that difficult balance between safety and freedom.

I came into this job eight years after Sept. 11, 2001. I cannot imagine 3,000 Americans killed on my watch. I cannot imagine polls showing that 90% of us anticipated another attack within 12 months of the first, perhaps with chemical or biological weapons. I can imagine how you must have blamed yourself during those long, dark days, and spent every waking hour asking, "What can I do so this never happens again?"

This brings me to the Iraq War, a mission I once called "dumb."

Seventy-six percent of Americans, at the time, supported your decision. You obtained approval from Congress. By contrast, 47% support my actions in Libya, less support than for any military action taken in the last 40 years. Unlike you, I did not seek approval from Congress even though I once said the Constitution requires it.

Audacity Of The Surge

Thanks to the Iraq War, Libya's Moammar Gadhafi surrendered his WMD. He poses no direct threat to America and cannot use these terrible weapons on his own people. Saddam Hussein, on the other hand, invaded his neighbors, used chemical weapons on his own people and shot at our planes patrolling the no-fly zones. All 16 of our intelligence agencies thought he possessed stockpiles of WMD, a prospect that threatened to make the 9/11 carnage look small.

I even opposed the "surge" in Iraq and predicted its failure. I now see this unpopular decision for what it was — one of the most courageous decisions ever made by any of the 43 Americans who have sat behind this desk.

I vividly recall shaking my head during the speech you made to make the case for the "dumb" war. A disapproving New York Times wrote: "President Bush sketched an expansive vision. ... Mr. Bush talked about establishing a 'free and peaceful Iraq' that would serve as a 'dramatic and inspiring example' to the entire Arab and Muslim world ... ."

Now I understand why, in 2008, you signed National Security Presidential Directive-58, Advancing the Freedom Agenda: "To protect America, we must defeat the ideology of hatred by spreading the hope of freedom. Over the past seven years, this is exactly what the administration has done."

It began with newly liberated Afghans and Iraqis who risked their lives by leaving their homes to vote for the first time. Your Freedom Agenda ignited the promising, historic "hope and change" we are now witnessing all throughout the Arab and Muslim world.

You were right. I was wrong. The nation — and the world — owes you a huge debt of gratitude.

Let's do lunch and then sneak in a round of golf. The "near beer" is on me.

With respect and appreciation,

Barack

Life

It's been a bit since I've gone on and I just wanted to talk about my passion and what drives me. Last summer I came into contact with a great philosophy by the name of Osho. A modern Buddhist thinker, Osho really changed the way I view the world. Since the summer, I've slowly made a conscious effort to change myself; I wanted to move away from the somewhat destructive self that I was last year. I mean, all in all my self last year was carefree and pretty much worked when it wanted and did whatever it wanted.

Lately I've been finding myself amidst the path that I've carved in the past year. I've been trying to take to heart what Osho has said, especially:

"Friendship is the purest love. It is the highest form of Love where nothing is asked for, no condition, where one simply enjoys giving."

While many would disagree, I think that this is the best way for me to go right now. It's something I look forward to.

On friendship:

I have a reputation of being friendly with quite a large number of people. I think that this is incorrect. While harsh, there is a very small handful of people here that I would consider myself "being friendly" with. While I agree that I do know a lot of people, there are very few people I know who are "friends." Those who accept me for who I am and expect nothing but my companionship when they need it. I hope that they realize that I am a very solitary person and it is rare that I feel comfortable hanging out with a large group of people.

I think that has been my fault in the past year. Stepping outside my comfort zone has allowed to meet many people, but I have deprived myself of who I really am. There was only a fleeting moment in college where I was truly content with myself, but I find that there is no need to be content because it causes you to stop yourself, stop time. While one part of me desires this "contentness," there are some things that are greater than that and I am finding them.

On Thinking:

In the past month, I made a couple of choices that will probably affect who I am a year from now. Now it is only up to me to realize my wishes. This involves a severe degree of self control and thought, both of which I have been lacking in previous years. It's like recreating myself. Maybe by finding the self, I can reach out even further.

I wonder what will happen.